


You Gotta Get Up and Try

by JustAnotherUnderstudy



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Age Difference, But not dating, Dating, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Episode: s01e02 Fastest Man Alive, Episode: s01e04 Going Rogue, Eventual Romance, F/M, Holding Hands, I Ship It, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Inner Dialogue, Minor Character Death, Older Man/Younger Woman, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, POV Caitlin Snow, POV Joe West, Rair Ships, Rare Pairings, Romance, S01E03, S01E04, Season/Series 01, Ship all the ships, Shipping, Single Parents, Slow Burn, Things You Can't Outrun, Tragic Romance, i mean really slow, pilot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-07-16 11:29:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7266328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAnotherUnderstudy/pseuds/JustAnotherUnderstudy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where there is desire<br/>There is gonna be a flame<br/>Where there is a flame<br/>Someone's bound to get burned<br/>But just because it burns<br/>Doesn't mean you're gonna die<br/>You've gotta get up and try, and try, and try</p><p>(Caitlin and Joe. It could be a thing. I'm convinced.)</p><p>This is a series of alternating POV through each episode of the show.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pilot

**Author's Note:**

> @helsinkibaby has convinced me to ship these two. Maybe I just have a kink for age differences. :D
> 
> Title from the song "Try" by Pink.
> 
> Each chapter is from one episode of The Flash, beginning with the pilot. At least for now. That could change in the future.

Joe and Iris West were a constant presence at Star Labs. Both visiting Barry to sit at his bedside. For nine months they politely acknowledged "Dr. Snow" in passing.  
  
Iris West usually came between school and work. She held Barry's hand and told him abut her day, reminded him of incidents from their childhood, then finally stood, brushed her fingers through his hair, and said 'good night.'  
  
Joe West came after and before shifts, and when he couldn't sleep. He was silent at the bedside, watching Barry's chest rise and fall, reading the monitors.  
  
He didn't talk to Barry, but he asked questions. More often than not, he asked 'Dr. Snow. ' More often than not, because Caitlin didn't sleep well anymore herself and they usually found themselves together with Barry and their insomnia.  
  
After several months of receiving the same answer about Barry's condition, Detective West's inquiring nature apparently got the better of him, and he started asking different questions. Not the normal polite conversational questions, but the sort of questions she supposed a detective would ask a suspect.  
  
"Why do you stay at Star Labs?"  
  
Caitlin looked at him. She didn't need to weigh her answer. She really didn't even have to answer at all.  
  
"My career is ruined. Where else would I go?"  
  
To his credit, Detective West looked embarrassed at his overstep.  
  
After that his questions were more polite. Where did she attend school? What drew her to science? Safe questions, she could answer those and ask her own on occasion.  
  
For nine months the were Detective West and Dr. Snow, and Caitlin didn't think anything of it. She thought she had closed herself off, that she wouldn't be able to become attached to a person simply because they were a steady constant in her life.  
  
A week after Barry woke she found herself sleepless, staring at the room where he'd slept, and she and Detective West had talked so often.  
  
Caitlin took a deep breath and shook her head as if that would dispel the thoughts.  
  
She hadn't lost him. He wasn't dead. Not like her career, not like Ronnie. He just wasn't with her nearly every night.  
  
There were important matters to consider. Chasing down meta-humans with Barry. Helping him adjust and learn how to use his speed. These things had nothing to do with her odd feeling of loss at the lack of another's presence. She'd adjust, she always did. She'd pull herself inside so she wouldn't have to feel the new loss.  
  
But it wasn't loss. It was just something she'd become accustomed to that no longer mattered, not in the grand scheme of things.


	2. Fastest Man Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so I squeed and said, "Oh, my gosh. Even the writers ship them. " :D

Joe sat on his chair in the mostly darkened living room. The only light was from the small one above the sink in the kitchen. It barely cast shadows.

He took another swallow from the bottle of beer in his hand and relaxed more.

It had certainly been a week. Another meta-human wreaking havoc on Central City. Joe had seen a lot in his life but this...well, he just wasn't sure what to make of this.

He took a deep breath, his hundredth of the night he was sure, and finished his beer. He closed his eyes and tried to clear his thoughts before going up to bed. That usually wasn't a difficult task, but this week had been exceptionally hard. It had been a long time since he and Barry had been at each other the way they were this week. It had ended well, but Joe hadn't enjoyed the process.

Finally he stood and walked to the kitchen to put his bottle into the recycle bin then he took the stairs to his room. Barry and Iris were sleeping but he paused outside each of their doors briefly. It had been a long time since he'd opened the doors to check on them after hours. They were adults now and he gave them their privacy.

In his room, he turned on his bedside table light and undressed, tossing his clothes into the hamper next to the door. He pulled on a pair of pajamas and pulled the covers back to crawl into the bed.

He thought about Iris and Barry, thought about the arguments he'd had with them as they grew up. It had always been him, and only him. He'd never had anyone to parent with. Even Iris' mother had really not been much of a mother before she left them. Joe turned over and switched off the light, but he couldn't fall to sleep right away.

For some reason he suddenly had old thoughts running through his head. What was it like to have someone parenting with you? How did it feel to be able to share the load a typical parent carried for their child? Sure, the kids' teachers had always backed him up. But Barry and Iris were good students so it wasn't a difficult thing. But the day-to-day was something he'd never experienced. He'd had an occasional girlfriend over the years, but no one he'd ever brought home. It just never seemed right.

He was almost to sleep when a memory from the week drifted through his mind.

"Don't look at me like that. I'm on your side."

Now Joe was fully awake thinking of how he felt at that moment.

Caitlin had everything to lose by siding with him. She had told him her career was ruined and where else could she work but Star Labs. But she'd stood up to her boss, and stood up to her friends. Joe smiled at the memory of how he'd felt at that moment.

Not alone.

That must be what it was like to parent with someone, to know someone is on your side when you think your child is in error and the fight gets thick. Sure, he and Caitlin had been wrong, but they both realized that now. And wasn't that how parenting happened? Sometimes the parents are right, sometimes they are wrong.

Joe brought his thoughts to an abrupt halt. Caitlin was not his wife, not even a girlfriend. She was only a little older than Barry and Iris.

Wait, no, I mean, yes, he thought. She isn't much older than them. She's not their mother.

Joe would have turned on the light except he was afraid to face his thoughts there. Better in darkness where he could easily pass them off as exhaustion induced insanity.

Caitlin Snow, parenting with him. That was madness. Impossible.

As he drifted finally to sleep a small voice that sounded suspiciously like Barry's seemed to whisper, "The impossible is possible."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of me is arguing that Barry was not living at home at this time. He probably wasn't. But, that's the way I wrote it for now.


	3. Things You Can't Outrun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are things Caitlin never wanted to think about again. Not that those things weren't constantly on her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple things in this story will sync better if you watch S1E3.

Her first thought was, "Thank god for Joe. We never thought about what to do with these criminals."

Her second thought was, "If Joe had just kept his mouth shut..."

Cisco was right. Star Labs did have a place to hold them. Still. She didn't want to think about that night. Not that she didn't always think about it, but it was one thing to have it under control in her head, another to have to face it outside in the physical world where things were completely out of control.

She was grateful Barry knew enough, and was sensitive enough, to get her out of there. She really wasn't sure what she'd have done otherwise.

And then he had to go and start asking questions.

It wasn't that she didn't want to talk about Ronnie. It was just that, well, she didn't really want to talk about Ronnie. It was complicated. And Caitlin hated complicated. Sure, in work if there was a problem to solve she could do that. But in real life, complicated hurt. Complicated created problems no scientific formula could solve. Like the problem of her broken heart and the grief that seemed to have no end.

So withdrawing from the problem was her solution. If she didn't have to talk about it with someone else, didn't have to go downstairs where Ronnie died, then she still had it under control.

In the end, it hadn't been quite as bad as she'd imagined. It didn't make it easier, or less painful, but the grief didn't overwhelm her the way she'd thought it would. She didn't break down or fall completely apart.

Her friends had helped that. Barry and Cisco had both helped her through. They had understood. They both had losses of their own.

And now she thought she might be able to move a few steps forward. It felt as if she had made it over a huge hurdle she didn't think she could jump.

* * *

Caitlin tapped gently on the hospital room door waiting to hear Joe's "come in" before pushing it open.

Joe smiled up at her from the bed. When he glanced at what she held in her hands, his smile got bigger.

"Is that coffee?"

Caitlin nodded.

"I think I remember how you like it."

She handed him one of the cups and he took a drink.

"Oh, thank you. You're an angel. The coffee here is awful. I think they add tar for flavoring."

Caitlin laughed and Joe looked surprised.

"That's a real smile," Joe said.

She nodded.

"You feeling better?" he asked.

"Yeah, I am."

Joe studied her a moment.

"That place at Star Labs where you guys made the prison, that's where Ronnie..."

Joe allowed his voice to trail off intentionally, Caitlin was sure, giving her the opportunity to speak or not as she desired.

She nodded then took a slow breath.

Joe pointed to the chair behind her and Caitlin sat next to his bed. She was quiet for a moment before she told him what happened that night. It wasn't without tears, though there weren't as many as she'd feared. She and Joe had discussed many things those nights at Star Labs, it seemed natural to finally tell him this.

"He was a real hero," Joe said.

Joe took her hand in his and squeezed it gently in comfort.

Caitlin nodded and smiled as she looked at their joined hands.

"Yes, he was."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watching this ep again reminded me of why I liked 1st season better than 2nd. 1) Old Eobart is wicked, manipulative, even in the smallest things, ugh, he's just the most awesome TV villian. 2) Barry sympathizes and comforts Caitlin in her grief. In S2, he's all about telling Iris to get over Eddie and move on.


	4. Going Rogue

There was a cadence to the sounds Joe heard as he walked down the Star Labs hallway in the late evening. A moment of quiet. A buzzing noise. Caitlin's whispered condemnation. It didn't change as he drew closer, it only sounded more clear. The buzzing was familiar, but Joe couldn't place it. For some reason it drew memories of when Barry and Iris were little. He could almost hear their peals of laughter over it. That, however, was not Caitlin's response.

He finally rounded the corner and nearly dropped the two coffees he was carrying at the site of Caitlin hunched over a small table attempting to reach into a cartoonish body with metal tweezers.

Buzz.

"Damn."

Joe laughed and Caitlin looked up. The look she gave him was almost enough to make him hesitate with his offering and turn and leave.

"One of those cups better be for me."

Joe smiled and walked toward her, holding out her coffee to her. She took it in her hands and swallowed down a sip, humming appreciatively.

"I'm not sure caffeine is what you need if you want to be successful at..."

Joe waved his own coffee hand at the Operation game.

Caitlin rolled her eyes.

"I never played this. It should be easier. It's just a kid's game."

Joe pulled a chair over to the opposite side of the table and sat.

"You didn't play it as a kid?"

Caitlin shook her head.

"Barry and Iris used to play this."

"Well, that explains why he's so good at it."

She huffed and leaned back to drink some more of her coffee.

Joe smiled again and leaned forward to pick up the small tweezers. He stuck them into the game and pulled out the wishbone.

Caitlin grimaced at him in disapproval. Joe just shrugged.

"Gotta have a steady hand to shoot a gun."

Joe felt his fear from earlier and the look on Caitlin's face assured him he hadn't kept it hidden.

"What happened?"

Joe shook his head. He hadn't come here to talk about it. He'd come here to...

He looked up at Caitlin. Why _had_ he come here?

After he'd left Eddie and Iris at the station he'd drove to Jitters and almost without thinking ordered two coffees. His and one of the flavors he knew Caitlin liked. It wasn't as if he hadn't brought her coffee before. They'd exchanged that and food when he'd visit Barry when he was still in a coma. Most recently, though, Caitlin had sneaked in a coffee for him in the hospital.

Caitlin was waiting patiently and Joe didn't have a better reason to be here, especially when he had gone by her apartment first to see if she was there before driving to the lab.

"There was a situation today. I, uh, well, it's been difficult for me to know that Iris and Eddie are dating. I didn't want to have his well being on my mind more than I would if he was just my partner."

He launched into his explanation and the near miss that wouldn't have been if Eddie hadn't been there.

When he finished, Caitlin had a small smile on her face. She had a lot more of those now, Joe had noticed. It made him glad. Just this small one made her eyes sparkle and...

What was he thinking?

He sighed and set his coffee cup down. He was quiet a moment, unable to find an explanation of why he'd come more than he wanted to be with a friend.

"It's a lot to deal with, I imagine."

Caitlin spoke into the silence.

Joe nodded.

"I just hate seeing one of them hurt. Iris and Barry are all I have."

He shrugged and finished off the rest of his coffee.

"What about you?"

Joe had never asked her about her family. He knew about Ronnie, her late fiancee, but wasn't sure if she still had her parents, any siblings.

Caitlin took a measured breath before answering.

"My father died a while ago, he had MS. My mom and I, well, we aren't really close."

The smile was gone now and Joe regretted asking the question.

"I'm sorry. I didn't meant to bring up painful memories for you."

"It's OK. I just don't usually talk about it."

"I understand."

Caitlin looked at him and Joe saw that she could read between his words.

"I'm sure you do."

They were both silent again for several moments. This wasn't unusual. They'd grown accustomed to each other during Barry's stay here and more often that not that did include long times of silence.

Finally Joe decided he either had to leave or come up with an excuse to continue their, well, whatever this was.

"Seen any movies lately?"

Caitlin shook her head.

"There's a picture called Whiplash I've been wanting to see."

She gave him one of her inquisitive looks and Joe smiled.

"Want to come along?"

Caitlin thought for a moment before nodding and standing. She picked up her purse and sweater and she and Joe walked toward the exit.

"Is this the one about the drummer?"

"Yeah. I kinda like music so I try to catch any film that comes out about musicians."

They continued their conversation to the parking lot and Caitlin followed Joe in her car to the theater. After wards they finished their popcorn as Joe leaned against his car and they talked about the movie.

He was humming part of the score as he opened the door to his house. The light was on but he was still surprised to see Iris in the living room.

"Humming?"

She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Good night?"

Joe opened his mouth to tell her, but only said "Yes, it was a very good night."

Then he took the stairs two at a time and imagined that smile Iris got when she was surprised by something.

He'd promised no secrets (Barry aside) but he and Caitlin were just friends. It wasn't as if he was keeping Iris in the dark about a girlfriend.

Joe scoffed at his reflection.

"Man, she is too young for you."

He turned around to toss his shirt in the hamper and get ready for bed. He turned off the light and pulled the covers over himself. In the morning he knew his mind would see reason. He was a cop. He was logical. He didn't like complicated. And an older man and a younger woman were nothing but complicated.

Somehow that didn't stop him from saying 'yes' to Caitlin when she called a few days later and wanted to get together for coffee and another movie.

Friends did that sort of thing all the time.


End file.
